Anger

It is never something that I have dealt well with. I used to just bottle it up and not talk about it, ignore that I was angry. I become the peace keeper, problem solver and general counsler to anyone who would listen. I couldnt deal with my own emotions, wouldnt cry in front of people would never get angry. I could rationalize anything I become very very good at seeing the other side to a story. Understanding where each person was coming from and their view of the situation wether it was close to reality or not. I saw this as an amazing strength which most of the time it is. The problem is that it makes me to rational, I didnt get angry really ever, I always understood why things went the way they did and so it never bothered me. I liked being able to stay calm and removed and objective so I thought. Then I opened my own business and the stress began to wear on my resolve to be objective and always look at both sides of the story. I began to be peeved at the small things, feeling sick all the time over finances, not wanting to talk to people or deal with my daily life. I got over it and moved on and with support from my family took to the business and life with more vigor. 

Then I was able to look at both side of the story again and went back to my peaceful calm. Then I began to feel angry when people honked at me on the freeway, or cut in line or wasted my time and didnt even seem to care. I began to worry that I was slipping. Then I realized something, all of these things were reasonable things to get upset or angry about. I could still understand the other persons point of view and where they were coming from but when their inconsiderate behavior was directed at me I find it harder every day to make excuses for them. I also have bad days, and good days but I try not to let my bad days encrouch upon others in a negative way. Remember just cause your having a bad day doesnt mean your the only one or you should project your negativity on others. Be kind and remember your bad day is probably not their fault.

Beginnings

I created this blog as a space for my thoughts and ramblings as I continue through life. My background is a little unconventional. BS in Chemistry from UCDavis, 5 years working as a professional horse trainer and riding instructor, 8 months running my own business and getting married to my bf of 8 years in a little more than a month.

I cannot promise anything I post will have meaning or make sense but it will be my thoughts and comments on experiences I have in my life. :)